You have some potentially really great footage there, but I would recommend diving a bit deeper into your edit.
I see that you are holding the shots for a very long time, and with the cinematic music you are using it has the effect of building tension, so you go to a long tense shot after long tense shot, and that makes the viewer uncomfortable because there is no release.
Keep your individual cuts to about 2-4 seconds max, find the most interesting segment of the clip you have filmed and include that, make the maximum impact so the eye doesn't get bored and the brain stays engaged.
Also bringing up the shadows and adding some saturation will give a nice pop of color to your footage.