coprophagy aside,
i've been making electronic stuf for three decades and somewhere in there i hit a point where i was making resources for other people to make electronic stuf (vst). a lot of the time i spent making music then was about showing what a type of algorithm or whatever could do.
and this totally affected everything i make - you know like cross-section diagrams where you see all the things that are inside a machine, or like how aboriginal art includes the internal organs et c. my art started to have this stripped down quality where "you can see how the parts fit together".
i'm like cool, that helps people see it as an accessible medium.
but after years of doing stuf like that, i started to realise i'd lost something... if you make your medium "accessible" and obviate the method of construction, you give up making your medium "inaccessible" .... like, a typical pop song production uses "shock and awe" .... you're not interested in how the song was made, just the way it feels, just the way it hits the audience... for full emotion, full responsiveness...
..and then i realised, *i don't even want to do that*
it's like the power of seduction. contemporary music is supposed to draw you in and feel powerful so you'll buy it or respect it or whatever. but now to me, this is like using people. i don't want to awe anyone or make them feel like they're listening to the most powerful voice. i want people to feel like they are capable, like they can do it. not like they got seduced by the best.
and that's the story of why my stuf seems to suck, because it doesn't throw those hard punches like people who just want to use you and impress you throw. which is, of course, something i can tell about media straight away after so many years of practicing different techniques.
but anyway the tech is a little better, back those decades ago we used a film projector. freaky videos of peoples faces projected on a mannequin face, but not quite steady. i'd rather f around with analog video feedback than watching a stage with people with more money than i on it.