Normally, you're going to buy a transmitter receiver combo, or at least choose them together. In this area, starting small and building up isn't necessary, since the transmitter is probably the least likely thing to break (it won't be 200ft in the air!).
If you're searching the Internet, using "transmitter" or "radio" will get you better results. Controller usually refers to the control board that provides stabilization, etc.
There are a lot of options for transmitters. I personally use a Turnigy 9x from Hobby King. It's a very inexpensive transmitter, but out of the box, it isn't perfect. I've modded mine quite a bit with a FrSky module for the transmitter and receiver, as well as upgraded firmware. If you're looking for something very good out of the box, a lot of people use Spektrum Dx6i or Dx8. If you can afford the 8, you should go with that. Down the road, you may add a lot of features to your copter and will need more channels. Either way, 6 is usually the minimum amount of channels you want.
http://www.amazon.com/Spektrum-DX6i-DSMX-6-Channel-Transmitter/dp/B004M13YI8
When I started with some buddies, we pretty much copied what the popular quadcopter pilot
Juz was doing. Once we got something in the air, we started to experiment with our own ideas and build our own copters. That plan worked out okay, but it was somewhat expensive due to some crashes initially. Looking back, we probably should have copied some cheaper builds. It was a good idea, however, to not cheap out on the stuff that stays on the ground - transmitter, FPV goggles, FPV receiver, etc. That stuff is still all in use and is serving us well!